As a carer of someone with BPD I have been in that place of complete distress. At those times I would take myself off for a walk in nature and breath deeply as I walked along.  Then after reading some self help books I became very interested in mediation to calm and centre myself.  At first I would take myself off in times of crisis, sit in the car or lock myself in my room , close my eyes and play a  visualisation on my i-pod.  Now  I  meditate regularly,  usually first thing in the morning before breakfast,  quieten my mind for  30-40 minutes, sometimes an hour in total silence and stillness. 

If you never done any meditation its best to start with a guided one so I hope you enjoy the short video I have uploaded.  Give it a go, I am sure you will find that after you have listened to it any tension you hold will have faded away completely or at least to a more tolerable level.

Give it a try………………..Video: Need to relax? Take a break to meditate – MayoClinic.com.